Thursday, 31 May 2012

You know you've lost your friends when...

When you are in school, it seems like your friends are yours. You have a right over them and whatever they do, you feel responsible because they're YOUR friends. Telling your mum about that one time your best friend cheeked the teacher, your mum's gonna flip out because 'you must have had something to with it too'. You're accomplices and partners in crime. It's not  bad feeling though. It is a freakin' AWESOME feeling. You did something weird, you thought up an absurd explanation to something, you found out A is dating B, anything at all, and you know exactly who you're going to call. You grow up with your school friends. You grow up with your college-mates and university buddies too, but school is the only era that counts. The growing up is so profound and obvious that you feel different from day to day and you have someone to feel different WITH.

Enter college, scattered friends, less frequent calls and all that you ever feared. Still, it is all okay because you still have a common ground. My friends wanted to study premedical and i had no interest but I decided my friends were worth studying subjects i don't like and i opted for it too. Bad luck though, we got into different colleges. Anger, tears, complaints... Still, we were studying the same stuff so we knew what to whine about, we could still plan group studies and we could still bond over valency of electrons. We were BFFs like we'd promised to be on the back of our tee-shirts on our last day of school.

Next, our practical life started. I knew I couldn't even memorize the names of all subjects a doctor has to study, let alone pass them. My friends wanted to be doctors and I decided I should not waste my life doing something I am no good at. So I chose something entirely different. I transferred into arts and there is now a two thousand mile (exaggeration) distance between our institutions. I tell myself: physical differences do not matter, Wishaal. Your friends love you and they will keep loving you. A little voice inside my head replies: They might love you, but they don't need you now.

For me, friendship has always been a dependable thing. Something quite selfless. I believed in absence makes the heart grow fonder rather than out of sight out of mind. The very foundations of my belief are faltering. A few weeks back we had some arguments. Had we been in school they would have dissolved in a few tears and playful slaps on the back but, as we are in PRACTICAL life now, all differences are irreconcilable. I have to think before i speak now and that hurts me because the reason they were my friends in the first place was that i could say what i wanted to and they understood me, they stood up for me, they helped me through and always listened to my side of the story. Now i see them sticking up for someone they need and i realize i'm not important anymore. I can't call my friends my OWN now

...and that's when you know you've lost them.


  1. Remember that text you sent me? The one about how you can play on the swings with someone and not speak a word but feel like you had the best conversation ever?

    That's exaggeration. :P But if something as insignificant as different paths in CAREER is tearing you apart, you need to sit down and have a conversation.

    I mean, look at us. We didn't talk for FIVE years and pretty much picked up right where we left from. But ofcourse, not everyone can be as awesome as us. ;)

    Point is, if they're walking away-for whatever reason-talk to them. If the friendship really meant as much to them as it did to you, things will be okay again. If not then, you just move on. It's sad, but you have to do it. For yourself. So that YOUR heart stops aching.

    Remember, you are the only person that's going to stick around with you forever.

  2. Oo. Your last sentence is so 'Quotable Quotes' :P

    You're right, my partner in awesomeness. I shall make them read it and explain to me where i went wrong and what we can do to make it better. THANK YOUU<3

  3. Aur depressing baateyn na karo raat l ek bajay -_-

  4. Hahah my dad quoted that. :P
    Sorry, mood hora hai. :$

    And for God's sake, remove the word verification. :P

  5. LOLOLOL How do i do that? :D HELLUP

  6. Settings/Posts and comments. :P